Why is it so hard to allow ourselves to be vulnerable? Are we afraid others will find us somehow lacking, that we are not perfect?
The messages surrounding us all point to the possibility of perfection, weight, looks, career etc but the reality is that there is no such thing- we live in an imperfect world. We simply cannot be all things to all people. So we numb vulnerability through addiction and trying to make the uncertain certain ie extreme religion without discourse or tolerance. However, according to Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, you can’t numb bad feelings without numbing the good ones too-joy, gratitude happiness: “vulnerability is at the core of shame and fear, but also the birthplace of joy, creativity, of belonging and love.”
We need to learn to accept that it’s OK to be authentic and imperfect, and to practice accepting others as imperfect including our kids as they are “hardwired to struggle.” To be kinder and gentler with ourselves and others.
We need to be able to ask for help when we need it; to open ourselves up to a relationship that may not work, when single to risk asking people out – opening ourselves up to the possibility of rejection but also of love. JK Rowling submitted the Harry Potter manuscript to twelve publishing houses before it was accepted!
“If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.
The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute. Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites.” Brene Brown
Check out Brene’s blog on courage.
Watch her on TED’s talks: